17 blackjack beginner boo-boos, part two

I’ve been a bit slow in doling these out, but here at last are a few more tips to keep in mind.

Error #7: Not splitting

What is splitting? It’s when you are dealt two identical cards (two 8s, two kings, etc.) and then increase your bet by splitting those identical cards into two separate hands. If you do this correctly, it’s another rule that can give you an advantage over the house. You can consult a basic strategy table, which I’d strongly recommend if you plan to play more frequently in the future; there are a number of variations on which cards you’d split versus the dealer’s particular up-card. But for now here’s a very simple rule about splitting.

Always split aces and eights. Always.

Not complicated. Memorize it.

Splitting aces and eights and eights in blackjack.
To split or not to split: There’s only one answer…

The thinking boils down to this: Two aces is a terrible hand, adding up as either two or twelve. Two 8s are awful, too, since they add up to the bane of your blackjack existence, 16. By splitting, you can turn these awful hands into an advantage. Your aces have a shot at giving you blackjack twice; your 8s can yield an 18 or better; plus if you catch a 2 or a 3 to go with your 8, you can double-down.

Error #8: Splitting 10s

You know that scene in the original “Frankenstein” movie, where the villagers chase the monster with their fiery torches, then burn the poor fellow to death? Many of you might be under the impression that the villagers were so worked up because he threw that cute little girl into the well.

Wrong.

They’re chasing him because he committed an even worse crime: He split 10s at the local casino. (This was a scene edited from James Whales’s original cut of the film.)

 

Splitting tens in blackjack.
Suffer a fiery death if you split these two cards or any two cards, for that matter.

Split 10s and you’ll gain the enmity of everyone at the table and for good reason: It’s a stupid move. An exception: When you’re counting cards, there is a set of specific instances when it’s actually a smart move. But for our purposes, do not do this. Why?

To clarify, we’re talking about any two cards valued at 10: King/Queen, 10/Jack, etc. And no matter how you slice it, 20 is a great blackjack hand. When you split 10s, you’re putting yourself in an excellent position to draw a worse hand. Plus you’ve altered which cards the dealer will draw; often the dealer will end up with a better hand than he might have had you not made that idiotic split; often he’ll draw to one that beats you and your table mates. They will hate you. If they have torches, you might very well suffer the fate of the monster.

Error #9: Not doubling down

Okay, it can be expensive. But doubling down is potentially the most profitable move you can make at the blackjack table.

Here’s how it works. After the dealer finishes dealing the initial round of two cards to each player and it’s your turn to act, you can double your bet by sliding the appropriate amount of chips forward. The dealer then gives you one, and only one, additional card; after the other players have acted and the dealer takes his card or cards, if you beat this total, you’ve doubled that initial bet.

Theoretically you can double down on any two cards. Players do actually double-down on blackjack; don’t. In all practicality, there are only several conditions when you’ll want to (and I command you to) double down.

  • When your two cards total 11. Many times you’ll draw a 10, giving you an unbeatable hand.
  • When your two cards total 10, and the dealer’s face-up card is a nine or less.
  • When your two cards total 9 and the dealer is showing a six. This move is designed to exploit his (hopefully) weak hand.

In many casinos, you can double down after splitting. This can be the juiciest and most fun you can have at the BJ table. Here’s a classic, fasten-on-your-seatbelt scenario.

  • You draw two 8s and split them.
  • Your first 8 draws a 3. Time to double down! Time to move on to your second 8…
  • Your second 8 draws an 8. Split them!
  • Back to that second 8 which draws a…. 3. Double down!
  • Onto the third eight which draws an…8. Time to split ‘em.
  • Back to the third 8, which draws a… 3. Double down!
  • Back to the fourth 8, which draws a 3. Double down again!

Yikes! If your initial bet was $10, you’ve just won $80! (The voice of reality: “Or lost $80.”)

Error #10: Starting out with an insufficient bankroll

You need to have enough money to finance potentially profitable moves such as the example directly above; you literally wouldn’t be able to do it with just $50 in your pocket. So how large of a bankroll do you need?

In deciding, you need to ask yourself (a) how much you can comfortably afford to lose and (b) how long you want to play. In answering that second question, keep in mind that this is a very fast-paced game. At a full table, the dealer doles out a complete round of cards at the rate of about one hand per minute. If it’s just you and the dealer (an excellent way to play, BTW) you can easily triple that rate. So if you want to hang around for more than ten minutes, you need to have ample funds at your disposal. My recommendation is to have at least fifty times the minimum bet. That would be $250 if you’re playing a $5 table, double that for a $10 table, etc. Not only will those amounts give you some staying power, they’ll also give you a much better chance of actually winning.

More to come next time…

Oh, happy gambling movies, #3

Before he become a worldwide heartthrob, Clive Owen was dealing blackjack as the title character in the 1999 film, “Croupier.” This is a crackerjack film noir for players and non-players alike; it’s light on the arcane dialogue and thick on atmosphere, characterization and intrigue.

By David de la Luz from Mexico City, Mexico (Clive) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
Clive Owen: Who says blackjack is a dead-end job?
Owen plays a writer with casino experience in his past. Once ensconced as a croupier, he gets involved in a plot to separate the casino from some of its money.

So this film blends elements of an art film, a heist movie, a con movie and noir. It all comes together in a very satisfactory way, thanks to the brooding Owen and director Mike Hodges, known for his brutal and brilliant “Get Carter,” the original version starring Michael Caine.

Plus get this: It actually has an upbeat ending, winding up in a place quite unexpected.

Rating: 5 nuts (on a one-to-five scale)

Casino Buffet

A little wrist action

Now that Apple is launching the Apple Watch, a host of questions arrive along with it. Can you legally wear it while driving? Will anybody actually purchase the deluxe $12,000 model? And most importantly, will the Apple Watch be useful in playing poker? Here’s an answer, kind of: Tips on your wrist.

“Dad loves blackjack…”

It’s rare that you come across a written piece that centers around gambling and tugs at the heart strings, but New York Times Op-Ed writer Frank Bruni has written one that does just that. Read it here: “My Father’s Secret.”

WSOP schedule

The 2015 World Series of Poker recently announced its schedule. Lots of changes are in the offing, like bigger starting stacks and new tournaments, including one named “$565 Colossus No-Limit Hold’em”; it’s being played on May 29 and has a $5,000,000 guaranteed prize pool. Expectations are high for this one. The WSOP folks are saying that, in terms of participants, they expect it to be the largest poker tournament ever held, meaning upwards of a gargantuan 7,000 players.

The action begins to wind down July 5 with day one of the Main Event. If you’re one of the fortunate nine to reach the final table on this granddaddy of big-time poker tourneys, you’re guaranteed to take home at least $1,000,000.

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